Kim Kennedy...my brother...your brother...
EVERYBODY'S BROTHER!
Sea Burial
There was a single sea gull that followed us out to sea as we approached longitude 70.16.95 west latitude 42.57.41 north and a depth of 604 feet. All of our mouths got dry. This was Jeffrey's Ledge. It will now be known to us as Kim's final destination. It was time. We all collected ourselves and went up on the upper deck. Captain Brad White gave his "Word's of Welcome" speech recognizing the significance of today's event. He turned the floor over to Matt Kelley, friend and the ordained minister that performed the baptism of Kim not two months ago. Matt delivered his sermon with high energy, enthusiasm and personalization of not only Kim's life, but of his transition between here and there. Matt is quite animated and encourages his audience to participate in his sermons not only to feel as part of the event, but to absorb the energy of the meaning. He asked that we all just take a deep inhale and just say Kim's name as we exhale. We all softly said, "Kim." He smiled and requested that we now take a deeper breath in and scream his name as we release our breath and as we release Kim of this earth. Set him free as he has lived his life on earth in such a manner. We all took in as much sea air into our lungs as possible and shouted, "Kim!.... Kim!.... Kim!" as we exhaled. It felt great. When Matt was finished, the captain announced a special surprise for Misha. We had a military plane perform a fly over service. Upon the first pass he dipped his wing in honor of Kim's life. On his second pass as he made his rapid descent and passed the ship he connected over the ship's PA system and whispered, "Misha, today Kim flies with the angels. He loves you very much." This brought a smile to her face and therefore to all of ours. We all joined hands in a large circle as we recited "Our Father" in group prayer. This was followed by a Moment of Silence. The captain then lead us in "Captain's Prayer" followed by the ringing of the "Eight Bells for End of Watch". The bell that he was tolling came from the ship Mayflower. As we stood holding hands in this giant circle, they played songs in honor of Kim that included "He ain't heavy", "Wind beneath my wings" and "I believe" from the website. It was here that I looked around and noticed the difference in our emotions. Some were sobbing uncontrollably, some were silently streaming tears down there cheeks and then there were those of us that were smiling widely embracing the transition. None of these were wrong, they were just our own display of the acceptance of the day's event. We were all the same, but different. The captain asked me and the pallbearers to come down to the first floor deck. I stepped forward looking around the ship into each and everyone's eyes. I dropped my head and explained, "They do not know who they are, because Kim and I did not cover this as part of the ceremony in our discussions. I am not going to choose at this time. We need you to please step forward to assist with this duty." The entire ship stepped forward. While we were on the first deck we placed the final items into the shroud including the portrait of Kim, Marina & Misha that he took with him on every hospital visit. Anyone that walked into any one of his many rooms knows the picture. It was pretty beat up from the travels it had taken over the last year and a half. It was perfect for him. During the trip, the captain encouraged us to write messages on the shroud with permanent markers. There were drawings, notes and promises that he was going to take to the ocean floor with him. As we all gathered on the first floor deck the captain played his final song, "When I get where I am going" as we began our last moment together. Marina cut the ceremonial rope releasing his body to the deep. I passed the cannon-balls to his pall-bearers to be placed into the foot of his shroud. We all then took our places and let the song's lyrics sink in to our minds and hearts. It came to the end of the lyrics when she sings Hallelujah. We then picked up Kim's body and wished him luck with his final "giant stride" off of the back of the boat. His body sunk rapidly as he made it to his new destination to begin the process of KK's reef. The ship circled Kim's entrance point for ten minutes as we deposited roses onto the rolling waves. We had made copies of the family portrait and through them out, as well. There were many more tears, then moments of silence followed by hugs and smiles. As we set coarse to return to port, the captain announced a toast was to take place inside. We all filed in and was handed a Sam Light in honor of Kim. Each person taking one with a smile knowing that would have been the beverage of choice for him. They stared at the front of the boat for me to begin. I had not prepared anything, but had been paying attention to what had been happening since we entered for the toast. I raised my bottle and said, "There are many stories of Kim that we will all share. There are many words to describe him and his way of life. There is only one word that comes to mind when I think of Kim Kennedy today. That word is forever." We all toasted with a smile and sipped his favorite drink. The toasts began to flow and we all began to truly understand what today was about. Friendship and love. I had several more songs to play from the website in his honor, but elected to switch gears. He made me promise to celebrate his life, not mourn his death. All night I was up downloading songs that Kim would always have playing in the truck or on his computer. The day had been beautiful with lots of sunshine. As we turned back to port this thick fog surrounded us. It was almost as if for us to realize we were closing a chapter and so we could not look back. We all shared stories and laughter for the entire ride home. We all ate lunch as a family of friends when none of us thought we would have any appetite at all. It was going to be ok. We all decided that it was not time for us to leave each other. So in Kim Kennedy fashion, we continued the night as we gathered at a local watering hole and continued the love. Our last memories of the day were friends laughing, hugging and healing. It was beautiful.
The ceremony was amazing and the most fitting tribute we had all ever attended. We left out of Newburyport, MA on a chartered vessel that Kim and I had gone out on before to deep sea fish with a few friends. Those days were great memories and it comforted me right away.
The captain and crew came down to the parking area and asked Marina, Misha & I to make our way to the ship to recieve everyone as they boarded. They gave us our time to say good-bye, yet again. It was clear to me that I need not take any time to say good-bye to Kim, but only to his physical body. He was standing not next to me, but within me. My heart was steady, strong and full of love as I tried to hold his family together and comfort them. They appeared to have lost their way a bit and we had work to do in helping them find their way back to Kim, the new Kim, the real Kim that will last forever.
As each brother and sister entered the boat we hugged as they approached the shroud holding Kim's body. Some knelt beside the shroud, others bent over, but none walked by with a dry eye. They reached into the shroud and placed personal items of affection next to Kim. There were trinkets of something that reminded them of Kim. Others wrote him a letter that was to only be read by him at a later day.
The ride out to where we were going to commit his body was filled with sorrow and sadness. They could not help it. They were focusing on the placement of Kim's body instead of the gift he was giving us even right then. There was a boat full of relative strangers with no spouses or significant others to lean on. We were forced to speak with one another and share our incredible stories of the Kim he wanted us to remember. As I glanced around the ship I noticed that although temporary, each person, including Marina and Misha, had smiles appear as they told or were being told of these stories. He was still there and was smiling himself.
The shroud was made out of sailboat sail cloth. It is 100% bio-degradable and will not harm the ocean. The shroud was custom-fit to Kim's body. At the foot-end there is a pocket that receives 4 authentic cannon-balls that act as ballast and will keep his body in place during the decomposition phase. The shroud has grommets for the tying of the final closing. These openings will allow the gases that we give off to escape without the body floating. After 3 months at sea, all that will remain are the four cannon-balls. These will attract coral. Once the coral is established the small sea life that eats coral will come around. Then the fish that eat the fish that eat the coral will make their way, and so on. Kim will become an artificial reef. This made him quite happy. He couldn't think of a better way to leave his final mark on the earth without disturbing her. He would be joining Mother Ocean one final time.
I am not using his final resting place intentionally. Kim refused to rest in life, through his treatments and I cannot imagine he would begin to rest now.
As we landed back at port the sun came shining through as bright as ever. As we stepped off the boat we were now facing forward and onto land where Kim's feet will not touch again. Although he will swirl around in our hearts, minds and stories for a life-time.
KEEP THE FAITH!
